Bunny

I can’t believe it’s been an entire year already since my darkest day. It wasn’t just my grandma that died that day. It wasn’t just my favorite person that died that day. I lost a huge part of myself. On the one hand, I think about her every day and smile because I remember “that one time” we did whatever or saw whatever or made whatever. I have a lifetime of love and memories and fun times to look back on with fondness. But on the other hand, it’s a hard pill to swallow (badum chhhh! Get it? Cause she choked to death? Lololol 😫) to know that “that one time” is all that I have left. I have experienced so many life changing moments with her, but I miss the small stuff. I miss how soft her hands were. And how squishy her ear lobes used to be. And how she always smelled like….roses. Specifically CO Bigelow’s rosebud salve, even though she never touched the stuff. Or when she drove, I’d annoy her by squeezing the soft part under her arm. Or when I’d lay down with her, I’d put my head on her stomach and listen to the noises it would make. And she snored like a fucking grizzly bear but to this day, snoring is still my favorite sound to fall asleep to.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. Whatever. Cheers to one year down. Spoiler alert to friends who have lost loved ones recently: it doesn’t get better. You just get better at hiding it.

It’s been a long day without you, my friend. And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.